I Almost Do
by Dark Waffle
Summary: AU. Fate was a cruel thing. And love was just as cruel.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Because I have taken so long to update **_**Fallen Star**_**, I decided to write two one shots for you: this and one I will be uploading soon named: **_**Long Live. I Almost Do **_**is actually a two shot. So there will be another chapter! But, ****I'm terribly sorry for taking so long on updating _Fallen Star_. The next chapter is coming **_**soon**_**. I swear. But for now, please enjoy this story.**

**I do not own **_**Fairy Tail!**_

'_Thoughts'_  
>"Speech"<br>_"Flashback/Dream"_

_**I Almost Do**_

_**-O-**_

"_When you love someone… truly love them, friend or lover,you lay your heart open to them.  
>You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt- you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut the deepest and most painfully on the heart and soul."<br>_- Sherrilyn Kenyon

_**-O-**_

They knew what they were doing was wrong.

They knew it.

But that didn't stop them.

It didn't stop them from doing something so cruel, so heartbreaking, so detrimental to each other, to the people they cared about.

It didn't stop him from giving the excuse he was working late and needed at the office.

It didn't stop her from lying about where she was spending the night that night.

It didn't stop them from seeing each other.

But it should have.

Because what they were doing was dishonest.

Because what they were doing was immoral.

Because what they were doing was unethical.

But how could something so frowned up, something so disloyal feel so... right?

_**-O-**_

"I have a meeting with my editor Thursday afternoon." She said, pulling a sweatshirt over her shoulders as she placed both feet on the floor. Her brown eyes glanced over at the man laying next to her.

"Can I still come over afterwards?" He asked, his unruly pink hair hiding away his onyx eyes.

"Gray's coming home."

The pink haired man frowned, sitting himself up from the position he was in.

"And you have that date night with Lisanna."

Her light brown eyes fell with melancholy as she whispered the previous sentence.

"He's coming back?"

"Yes."

The blonde haired women yelped slightly as the pink haired man overpowered her quickly, pushing her down on the bed. His eyes were dancing with fire and lust. His mouth was pursed into a grim line and eyebrows knitted tightly together as he pushed her down onto the bed.

"Natsu!"

"I don't want to talk about them, Lucy."

He leaned down and kissed her hard. Harder than he's ever kissed anyone in his life.

At first she was reluctant, trying to kick him away as he held her hands down. But, she couldn't resist him any longer as he licked at her lip and forced his way into her mouth. She gladly accepted him and sighed.

His hands left her wrist and traveled down her body that he fell oh so in love with. Lucy's hands shot straight to his hair, wovening her fingers deep inside. Natsu brought her closer to his bod, meshing them tightly together.

The pit in Lucy's lower abdomen burned, the way it always did when he was with her, holding her, kissing her, touching her. He was the only person who ever made her feel this good.

Before they knew it, the sweater Lucy had pulled over just a few moments earlier was on the ground and the blonde was screaming out Natsu's name as she gave herself to him.

Time after time after time.

And when the two adults fell onto the bed, their breathing heavy and staggered, they both couldn't erase the sharp guilt and pain that erupted within themselves.

"We have to stop." She said in a whisper.

The silence was greeted by their heavy breathing. He didn't reply, didn't answer. Instead, he stood from the bed and walked towards the bathroom.

"So, then Friday can we see each other?"

Natsu couldn't see her. His back was towards the blonde haired woman laying in bed. But he knew what her answer would be.

"Yeah. I'll tell Gray I'm visiting home for the day."

Without another word, he walked into the bathroom.

Lucy watched him close the door behind him. Her shoulders slumped as she wrapped the sheets around her shoulders.

She felt like a vile human being.

It made her sick to her stomach knowing that they were cheating on their significant other because they were acting like hormonal teenagers who couldn't keep their hands off of each other.

It made her nauseous knowing that she had her fiance waiting for her at the other end of the phone, traveling around the country of Fiore, showcasing his beautiful art, excited to come home to her to talk about the wonderful things he encountered on his art tour.

It made her heart ache knowing he had a committed wife who devoted herself to him, who _loved him_ _so much_, waiting for him to come home from work, waiting for him to give her a kiss on the cheek, and for her to ask him how his day was and what exciting things he faced at work that day.

It made her _hate _herself for letting something like this happen.

Especially when Lisanna was one of her close friends and Gray was Natsu's _best friend_.

Betrayal.

It was absolute betrayal.

"I'm leaving, Lucy. I have to get to work. Sting is on the field for the first time today and I can't let him screw up."

Lucy looked up with a fake smile embracing her lips.

"Okay. Don't let Sting do anything stupid."

He grinned at her and gave her the thumbs up.

She loved that grin so much. How was she supposed to let go of that? Of what she loved so much?

She was despicable.

"You bet!"

And he was out the door.

_**-O-**_

"Lu-chan!"

At the sound of her nickname, Lucy turned around to see her best friend, Levy McGarden running to her, papers in her hands, her hair in disarray.

She smiled weakly. "Hi Levy."

"Have you finished grading your classes papers?"

She shook her head, gesturing to the amount of paperwork in her arms that resembled Levy's jumbled papers.

Lucy Heartfilia and Levy McGarden were both graduate students at Magnolia University. They both were in the English program, studying for a Masters in English and creative writing. Both young women taught undergraduate classes in the English department.

"Some grad students we are." The bluenette chuckled, clenching the paperwork closer to her body.

"Yeah… is Gajeel meeting you today?" Lucy asked, avoiding confrontation with her best friend. Because she knew that Levy would notice her change in behavior.

"I don't know yet. He was telling me that today was Rogue and Sting's first day on the field, so he and Natsu wanted to make sure the two didn't do anything wrong."

Lucy's heart constricted as Levy muttered Natsu's name.

"Oh really? I had no idea." Lucy lied, knowing full well about Sting and Rogues situations because she had heard about it the night before.

"Yeah! You know how Gajeel gets with Rogue. He doesn't admit it, but he's so overprotective of him. It's kind of cute." Levy giggled.

'_I know. Natsu's the same with Sting.'_

Natsu Dragneel and Gajeel Redfox, Levy's husband, were both working for Magnolia Police as lieutenants and were training new officers the last couple months. Amongst the new officers, Sting Eucliffe and Rogue Chenney were distinct cadets that stood out to the two boys. Sting and Rogue had looked up to the men their entire lives and followed in their footsteps.

"Gajeel is really just a big softie under his 'tough as nails' personality." Lucy chuckled, remembering the countless times in their lives when Gajeel had been there for Lucy.

"I would know. He is my husband, Lu-chan." Levy commented. Both girls held the papers and books in their hands closer to their bodies as the air turned chillier by the second.

"Right." Both women laughed.

"Speaking of which, when is your fiance coming back?! I heard from Gajeel that Gray was returning home soon?"

Lucy felt her heart drop the pit of her stomach at the mention of her fiance.

She forced a smile on her lips. "Yes, he comes back Thursday."

Levy giggled with excitement. "That's in two days! You must be so excited for him to come back! You haven't seen him in like what? 2-3 month?"

The blonde found it harder and harder to smile as Levy went on about her fiance. A fiance she was cheating on behind his back with his _best friend_. A fiance who loved her so much that he almost gave up his art tour for her. A fiance who treated her so _good_.

"Yeah, something like that."

"What's wrong, Lu-chan? Are you not excited to see him? Are you two fighting?" The petite bluenette asked. The brown eyed woman scolded herself for showing too much. Levy was especially perceptive.

"What? No! Of course not! I'm extremely happy Gray's coming home!" _'Liar.' _"I can't wait to see him! He's been gone on his art tour for too long!" The blonde quickly masked her insecurity and doubt with glee as she forced a big, fake smile on her pale lips and put a facade to trick her best friend.

"Are you worried about Natsu?"

Lucy could feel her heart stop. Her eyes went wide open as Levy's comment made her freeze.

"Wha-what?"

"I mean, ever since you and Gray started dating and he and Lisanna got married, you two hardly see each other. And you guys were best friends growing up. I remember you told me you and Natsu started hanging out again a little bit this past year?" That was how it all started, Lucy thought to herself as Levy continued.

'_Because you see Levy, for the past year, Natsu and I have actually been going behind Gray's and Lisanna's back, screwing each other every chance we get.'_

"Are you worried with Gray coming back you won't have time to hang out with him anymore without Gray and Lisanna feeling weird about it?"

The blonde chuckled, her heart racing. "Oh! That? No, of course not. I don't think Gray will mind, especially because you know how those two are. And Lisanna and I have always gotten along so well so many double dates are ensured in our future."

A double date with Natsu and Lisanna? Lucy could not fathom that. It pained her so much to see the two together. Her heart ached so much when she saw him hug her or her kiss him. Especially when the brown eyed maiden knew that later that night, Natsu would be kissing and hugging her, not Lisanna.

"Hey! Make it a triple date and invite me! Maybe even a quadruple date and invite Erza-san and Jellal-san."

Lucy knew she couldn't even bare to look Erza in the eye after the sins she's committed with Natsu.

"If we do that, we might burn the building down. And by 'we,' I mean Gray, Gajeel, Erza, and Natsu."

Both girls chuckled, Levy more than Lucy, because they knew it was true.

They continued their conversation a little longer until they reached the student parking lot. Both young women bid each other goodbye and headed to their designated spots. When Lucy arrived to her car, she stared at the reflection in the window for a moment.

Gray was coming home.

Her fiance was coming home after being gone for 2-3 months.

Why wasn't she happy about that?

Most women would.

Especially when you had someone as handsome, as charming, as committed, as hardworking as Gray Fullbuster.

But she already knew the answer to that question. And it broke her heart in half. It made her chest hurt. It made her stomach churn and her insides cringe in disgust. It made her want to vomit.

It was because she was madly in love with Natsu Dragneel.

And she didn't have Natsu Dragneel.

So she settled for the latter: his best friend.

Lucy put a hand to her mouth and could feel the urge to throw up her lunch. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying to fight away the taste, the urge. Once she settled, she sighed deeply and opened her car door.

She sat for a moment, contemplating how they got here in the first place.

Contemplating how Natsu and her had gone from living a relatively happy life with their significant others to this dysfunctional, messy, despicable, lie.

"You're such an idiot, Lucy."

_**-O-**_

He sighed, rubbing his eyes as he walked up the steps towards his apartment. It was a rough day on the field with Sting and Rogue. Sting was too overexcited and fawned with him more than actually doing his job. Rogue was a quiet individual and listened intuitively to Gajeel. Natsu almost wished they could have switched them. But things had gone smoothly for the most part. He was just exhausted.

As he neared his apartment door, his mood fell, wishing he was somewhere else.

Particularly with _someone _else.

When he entered his home, the first thing that engulfed his nostrils was a spicy aroma that made his stomach growl.

"Welcome home!"

Standing in front of him was his wife, Lisanna Strauss (now known as Lisanna Dragneel). She was clad in an apron, red and orange stains all over. She was wearing a baggy shirt and some loose slacks. Lisanna had short, white hair and sparkling blue eyes that shone every time she saw him.

Natsu forced a smile on his face.

"Hey."

"I made your favorite today! I figured since you had a lot of work lately and you've been coming home really late, that you would want some actual food than the snacks you have in the vending machines." She walked up to him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

If only she knew why he was coming home so late.

"Thanks Lis. That's nice of you." He sat down on the barstool, nonchalant about the conversation. The only thing he could think about was Gray returning from his art tour. Gray coming back to Lucy in that house she's lived in by herself that last few months. Gray coming back to take Lucy away from him… _again_.

"Is everything okay… Natsu?" He was in a daze, not really paying attention to what Lisanna had been saying.

"Huh… what?"

"I asked if everything was okay?" Genuine concern crossed her face as she put down the spoon she was mixing the pot with. The white haired woman wiped her hands on the apron and went around the counter, reaching for Natsu's hand.

When she touched Natsu's hand, he felt nothing.

No sparks.

No warmth.

No love.

"Oh yeah. Sting and Rogue had their first day on the field today so metal face and I had to take them out to make sure they didn't do anything stupid."

No. Everything was not okay. Gray was coming back. And Lucy was going to be taken away from him.

Lisanna looked confused. "Sting and Rogue are in the police force?"

The pink haired man threw her a quizzical glance. Hadn't he told her this? "Yes…? They joined the academy and passed. Sting was placed in my unit and Rogue in metal heads."

The youngest of the Strauss siblings nodded slightly. "I don't remember you telling me this."

He shrugged. Maybe he hadn't told her. "Oh. Well, yeah. They are."

There was a heavy silence in the air.

Natsu looked away from his wife and began to feel guilty. Lisanna Strauss was a pretty girl. When he first met her in their elementary school days, he use to tease her with her bowl cut haircut. In middle school, she developed into her woman figure, losing the bowl cut and growing her hair out more where she was more than just pretty. In high school, she was a diamond. She grew into a woman before he knew it. She was beautiful and he was hypnotized by her.

Not only was she a pretty girl, but she was smart, athletic, full of life and spirit. She was a joy to be around and always put a smile on his face.

It wasn't until years later that he realized he was an idiot; an absolute idiot.

Because he thought he was in love with Lisanna Strauss.

When in reality, he was in love with Lucy Heartfilia.

And he broke Lucy's heart, and continued doing so until now because he couldn't get his feelings right.

He eyed Lisanna from the corner of his eye and watched as she stepped away from him, crestfallen, her eyes losing their brightness from moments ago.

How did it get here?

When did it get to the point that their once animate conversations turned to complete silence?

When did it get to the point that he stopped telling her everything he use too?

When did it get to the point that he realized he didn't love Lisanna, but Lucy all along?

"Did you hear that Gray was coming back from his art tour soon?"

And with that question, there was a scowl that embed itself onto his tanned, chiseled face that set even surprised Lisanna.

"How would I know?" The pink haired lieutenant realized that was said with more force and malice than he should have shown. Then again, everyone knew he and Gray did not get along with each other despite being best friends.

"Well, Juvia told me." Of course Juvia knew, Natsu thought to himself. "I just assumed you knew because you had begun to see Lucy recently." Natsu could feel his throat dry up. Lucy. Lucy. Lucy. Her name drove him insane.

"She didn't mention it. We only talk briefly."

'_Because we're too busy screwing each other.'_

"Oh… well it must be great for her to finally have him return after being gone for a few months. Poor Lucy must have been lonely without him."

'_She hasn't been lonely because she's had me'_

"I know if it was me, I'd be terribly lonely without you, Natsu."

Natsu didn't realize it, but Lisanna was now standing in front of him, her small hands on his forearm. He shifted his eyes towards her and saw the undying love Lisanna had for him; the love she's always had for him. The pink haired man could see the amount of sincerity in her voice, the genuity of her comment.

And that was what killed him.

Lisanna was so good to him. She worshipped the ground he walked on. She made him meals every night, asked him about his day, spoiled him silly for his birthday and holidays, loved him with every single inch of her.

And here he was, loving another woman, sneaking off in the middle of the night, making excuses he was working late, being unfaithful to his wife.

What kind of person did that to someone?

Especially a person as sweet and devoted as Lisanna Strauss.

He didn't deserve someone as great as Lisanna.

Natsu smiled and kiss the middle of her forehead lightly, whispering a soft "me too." He stood from the barstool and turned away from his wife.

"I'm going to change. I'll be back."

He didn't wait for her reply as he walked out of the kitchen into their master bedroom. The onyx eyed man kicked off his shoes and stripped himself of his uniform. Sitting on his bed, Natsu felt it foreign to him. He had gotten use to sleeping in Lucy's bed that he forgot what his own bed felt like.

Lucy.

There was a bubbling anger in the pit of his stomach that made him nauseous. His heart hurt thinking about her, thinking about how she constantly told him they needed to stop, thinking about how selfish he was being because she was Gray's and not his.

And it was entirely his fault.

Yet, after he finished eating with Lisanna, spend some time with her, Natsu was going to leave in the middle of the night, saying he was called into work so he could go lay in Lucy's bed and continue the affair that had started almost a year ago.

He was broken from his thoughts when he felt his phone vibrate next to him on the bed.

And when Natsu looked at his phone, he almost wished he didn't.

_**-O-**_

All Lucy wanted to do when she got home was take a relaxing bath. A bath to cleanse her of the sins from this morning, to rid her of her guilt, to not think about anything that had to do with a rosy haired man that had such a tight hold on her heart.

Instead, she had to grade her student's papers.

The young Heartfilia sighed, sitting down on her couch. The blonde set the papers on the coffee table, taking out her red pen to tear her student's papers apart (respectfully). It was only after the first few papers that Lucy realized how lonely it was to sit in this apartment alone.

She was use to Natsu being here.

She was use to him coming over and spending time with her, talking to her, smiling with her, laughing with her, kissing her, touching her, making love to her.

How pathetic was it that she was having an affair with a married man?

Lucy almost wished she hadn't met Natsu. Because he made her life so difficult. The pink haired man she had known almost her entire life who was once her best friend, the only person to know her so well, the only man she _really _loved.

But he fell in love with someone else.

And he married her.

And Lucy was left heartbroken.

Then Gray came in and fixed her, putting her back together. Lucy had always saw Gray as a surrogate brother her entire life. He listened to her when Natsu didn't . He let Lucy cry to him about Natsu and how in love with him she was and how much it _hurt _to see Natsu loving, marrying, spending the rest of his life with another woman.

Lucy lost her best friend and the one man she fell deeply in love with, but gained another friend, one who was always at her side.

And eventually, this man grew to fall in love with her.

Gray fell in love with her.

And Lucy fell in love back.

Or that's what she told herself.

She told herself she loved Gray; every night she laid in his arms after their date nights, after their lovemaking, after he proposed to her.

But in reality, she didn't fall in love with Gray.

No, she used Gray to move on from Natsu. She choose Gray because Natsu wasn't available to her., because Natsu choose someone else.

Lucy loved Gray. She loved Gray for helping her, fixing her, loving her.

But she would never be _in love _with him.

Because she was too in love with Natsu Dragneel.

"Hey Lucy."

Not bothering to look back, Lucy waved her hand slightly. "Hi. Food's in the fridge. I didn't make anything because I was too exhausted too and I have to grade my student's papers."

"Were you expecting someone?"

At the sound of the voice, Lucy went wide eyed. The pen the blonde haired woman had in her hand fell from her grasp. She slowly turned her head only to see her fiance standing in the middle of the room with a confused look plastered on his face.

"Gr-Gray?"

Gray Fullbuster, Lucy's fiance, stood, tall with his dark, raven haired mopped over his head. His normally stoic demeanor was replaced with a small, amused smile.

"I'm home."

And Lucy began to cry.

Gray dropped the bags he was carrying in his hands and raced towards Lucy. He cradled her close to his body, and Lucy engulfed his scent. She wrapped her arms around his torso tightly, embracing his warmth.

"Hey now. Don't cry so much. I'm back." Gray padded her head, chuckling a bit.

It hurt so much more to have him back.

Because Gray smiled for her.

He laughed for her.

He teased her.

He opened himself up to her.

He loved her.

And their entire life, Gray was a tough nut to crack. The young Fullbuster was a very reserved person, never letting people in because he had lost his family and his surrogate family. He lost people so close to him. And here Gray was, opening himself to Lucy, letting her see a part of him that he hid away for so long.

"Welcome home, Gray." She snuggled closer to him. "I missed you."

Because she really did miss him.

Bu how despicable of a person was she?

Missing her fiance while she was sleeping with his best friend.

Lucy hated herself for it.

"I missed you too, Lucy."

The blonde pulled back from the hug and smiled at the stoic man. Gray Fullbuster was always one of the more attractive guys she's ever met. He was popular in school, at Fairy Tail Academy. Natsu, Jellal, Laxus, and he were always deemed as the most attractive boys at school. And she wouldn't deny it because Gray had a perfectly sculptured body and dark, mysterious eyes, and unruly raven hair.

"Here, let me help you take that stuff to the room." She stepped away from him and headed towards the bags on the floor.

"Oh yeah. Were you expecting someone?"

Lucy froze still, eyes going wide as she leaned down to grab his bags.

Natsu was supposed to come over tonight.

So when Gray walked in, unannounced, she assumed it was the pink haired man. It didn't cross her mind that it could have been Gray; her fiance who had a key to the apartment.

"Oh yeah! Levy-chan was going to come over and help me with grading these papers." Gray nodded, "But I'll just text her and tell her we can meet up later in the week."

'_Lucy Heartfilia. You're such a liar.'_

"Are you sure?"He asked.

Oh Gray, Lucy thought as she grabbed his bags.

She smiled at him. "Yes, I'm sure. I haven't seen my fiance in 3 months. I want to hear _everything_ about your trip."

Gray smirked, walking towards her, pulling at her arm towards him. She yelped slightly as he pulled her into a kiss.

It was warm. And it felt so foreign to her.

But she kissed him back anyway because Lucy owed him that much.

Especially when these lips of hers had been on someone else's just earlier in the day.

Gray intensified the kiss, hugging Lucy closely to him, meshing their bodies together. Lucy sighed, closing her eyes and kissing him back even harder. Gray's hands gripped her hips tightly, embracing her touch under him. Eventually their tongues found each other and they battled for dominance.

Lucy couldn't breathe.

Gray was consuming her. She could feel the love he had for her as he kissed her with such ferocity, such intensity. She could feel how much he missed her with all the emotion he was pouring through their kiss. Lucy felt like her clothes were melting under his touch, her skin hot under his hands.

And the guilt hit her harder than ever.

She could feel the wetness on her cheeks as he pulled away from her and whispered sweet things about him not leaving her anymore, about him staying by her side, about him loving her. Gray ensured her they would be happy together and he couldn't wait to marry her.

And when they made their way into their room where he touched her so carefully, so lovingly. Where he treated her so gently. Where he kissed her so soundly. Where he only ever thought about her.

And when they made love, when he clashed with her, when he breathed so heavily into her neck, muttering how in love he was with her, muttering how he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with her, she cried even harder.

Lucy was drowning, suffocating.

It was impossible to breathe.

Because the entire time Gray was making sweet, sweet love to her, all she could think about was the rosy haired man who she loved so dearly.

And that made her hate herself _so damn much_.

When Gray had fallen asleep next to her, she threw on one of his sweaters and walked towards the living room to grab her phone.

_To: Natsu Dragneel_

_Gray's home._

Once Lucy sent the message, she turned off her phone and placed it on the coffee table in front of her. The blonde put her head in her hands and broke into tears. She sobbed quietly to herself, hating what she has become, what she's resorted herself too.

And what was worse?

As much torment and torture and agony it was, she couldn't stop herself, even if she tried.

_**-O-**_

_Gray's home._

"Natsu? Are you okay?" Lisanna crept into the room carefully, full of worry and concern.

Said man looked at his wife as anger boiled within him.

"Shut the door."

"Natsu?"

_Gray's home._

The pink haired man stood from his spot on the bed and practically stomped towards Lisanna. He could see the fear in her eyes, the concern. The onyx eyed man pulled Lisanna into the room and shut the door shut behind her.

He captured her lips aggressively and almost animalistically. He knew she was surprised, especially because he hadn't slept with his life in a few weeks.

But that didn't stop him from pushing her against the door and ripping away every piece of clothing on her.

_Gray's home._

And she eventually gave in to him because she was now kissing him back, with the little intensity she had.

The worst part?

All he could think about was Lucy Heartfilia as he made love to his wife.

All he could think about was how Gray Fullbuster was probably making sweet love to his best friend; the girl he loved so deeply, the girl he _should _have chosen.

_Gray's home._

**A/N: I literally don't know where this came from. The other day, I opened a new word file and it was literally word vomit. This happened. This story is really angsty. I think I may have some pent up angst haha. Probably for not updating _Fallen Star _yet! Or maybe because Naruto ended and I hated the ending. (And no, it wasn't because NaruSaku didn't become ending, though that was really upsetting too. So expect some NaruSaku stories in the future.) UGH. But it feels good to be back in the world. **

**Anyway, this is a two chaptered one shot. The second chapter will answer any unanswered questions. It will address everything that is happening in this chapter. And I'm sorry if Natsu and Lucy seem OOC. It's for the purpose of this story. And I don't mean to make Lisanna seem desparate. And I really like writing Gray. The reason I choose Gray though was because Loke really _is _a playboy. And for other reasons that I won't go into because it'll spoil the story muahahaha. **

**I hope you enjoyed this first part! The second part will be updated shortly this week, along with the other one shot: _Long Live_. I wrote them because I felt like I owed it to you all for being so faithful. So it's a triple treat!**

**Please review and let me know what you all thought! What was good? What was bad? Anything to change? Criticism and suggestions are encouraged!**

**Until next time!  
>- Dark Waffle<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I haven't updated this in what, 2-3 months? Wow, I'm a terrible person. I'm sorry. I hope those of you who have been following are still following. I had to get my life back together again before I could write anything. And I'm terribly sorry for the wait. **

**This chapter didn't turn out how I intended, initially, but I'm happy with how I left it. I hope you guys are too.**

**I do not own **_**Fairy Tail!**_

'_Thoughts'_  
>"Speech"<br>_"Flashback/Dream"_

_**I Almost Do**_

_**-O-**_

_**Closure**_

_"Like time suspended,  
>a wound unmended-<br>you and I._

_We had no ending,  
>no said good-bye.<em>

_For all my life,  
>I'll wonder why."<br>_- Unknown

_**-O-**_

"Alright you piece of flame shit. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Natsu Dragneel scowled as the annoying voice of his friend and coworker rang in his ears. Gajeel Redfox looked at him with an irritated scowl as his red eyes burned into Natsu's onyx ones.

"Mind your own business, bolts for brains!"

The dark haired man who had multiple piercings on his face glared at the pouting pink haired man. They were currently having a slow day at the station today, Rogue and Sting out on patrol, not pestering the two senior officers.

"I would, but seeing that disgusting pout on your face is irritating as hell."

Natsu sighed, looking at Gajeel.

He was sad.

Natsu hadn't seen Lucy in over a week. The last time he saw her…

Well… it hadn't gone so well.

_Natsu Dragneel was walking through the University of Magnolia as he smuggled into his winter jacket. Magnolia was changing seasons once again where the leaves were falling and changing color and the air became a bit crisper, and the temperature dropped significantly._

_As he walked through campus, he could see the college girls eying him, sending him winks. The pink haired man ignored the advancements as he only had one person in mind: Lucy Heartfilia._

_Ever since Gray returned almost a week ago, they only saw each other once, and it was only because Lucy had accompanied Levy to the station to drop something off to Gajeel._

_She was ignoring him._

_And he was going to find out why._

_Natsu remembered Lucy's schedule pretty well, knowing she taught a class at 10:30 on Wednesdays. The onyx eyed man walked into the halls of the university, searching for the classroom she would be finishing up in._

_"Natsu?"_

_Called man turned, only to find Levy McGarden staring at his quizzically. She was still as short as she had ever been, with her blue hair hidden under a beanie. _

_"Oh hey, Levy. What's up?"_

_She eyed him carefully, her frown confused and questioning. _

_Almost like she suspected something._

_"What are you doing here?"_

_Natsu liked Levy. He always thought she was a great and loyal friend to Lucy. And the bluenette was able to keep Gajeel in check. _

_But he hated how perceptive she was._

_"Oh. Lucy left a student's paper on the desk when we met up for coffee. I just realized it when I was going through some of my papers." Natsu lied, grinning his infamous smile._

_But it didn't look like the petite, young woman was buying it as she frowned slightly. _

_"But you haven't seen Lucy in over a week, right?"_

_"Well, yeah. We've both been working a lot lately. So I'm just going to go take this to her and then head out!" _

_And Gray had returned, so she's been with him for a majority of the time._

_His stomach coiled at the thought of his guy best friend so willingly touching his girl best friend._

_"So I'll see you lat-"_

_"You two need to stop."_

_Natsu froze, frozen in place. He turned slowly, looking flabbergasted towards Lucy's best friend. But he quickly changed his demeanor and laughed, confusingly._

_"What? What are you talking about, Levy?"_

_Levy's frown deepened. "I know, Natsu. I know everything."_

_The pink haired man went wide eyed, a heavy weight suddenly appearing on his chest._

_"I still don't know what you're talking about." Instead of his grin, Natsu scowled, still trying to play off the bluenette's statement._

_The frown on Levy's face fell and was replaced with a pitiful gaze._

_"Natsu… you're married. She's engaged, getting ready for her wedding. What good is this going to do for her? For you?"_

_Natsu remained silent, the air thinning around them. He remained silent, his anger growing. In the past, the pink haired man would have erupted into strings of hurtful sentences, yelling and screaming at those who angered him._

_But he's learned to control it._

_And he definitely couldn't go off on Gajeel's wife. The dark haired man would skin him alive._

_"Do you know how devastated Lisanna would be if she ever found out?"_

_"She's never going to find out." The onyx eyed man replied almost immediately. _

_"How are you so sure?" She questioned, "The entirety of your lives, Lisanna tried so hard for you. Do you know how insecure she is of your relationship with Lucy? It would destroy her if she ever found out."_

_"She **won't**." Natsu's blood was boiling. Levy had no right to talk to her the way she was._

_"And imagine the absolute betray Gray will feel?"_

_He gritted his teeth, his hands into fist. _

_"Gray's your **best friend**. You're his man of honor!"_

_"**Shut** **up**!"_

_Both young adults went wide eyed as the words left Natsu's mouth. Levy's eyes flashed with fear as she took a few steps back. He hadn't meant it. The cap on the bottle popped off after all the pressure. He never meant to be forceful, to frighten her._

_Natsu shrunk back and the anger in his eyes vanished as the fear in Levy's grew. He took a few steps away from her and looked away in shame. _

_"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell." Natsu bit down on his lip, "Look, it's complicated. Just, please, don't tell."_

_His eyes begged Levy, **begged **her not to say anything. _

_But the pink haired man didn't stick around to hear what Levy would say as he turned and left towards Lucy's classroom. He just hoped that Levy would care enough about Lucy not to say anything to Gray or Lisanna; especially Lisanna._

_Because Levy was right._

_If Lisanna ever found out, she would be absolutely crushed._

_When Natsu found the blonde's room, anger swirled within him. Why did she tell Levy? Why did she have to go and say something to her? Why didn't Lucy just go and talk to him? This was between t**hem**, not anyone else._

_He didn't bother to knock as he just opened the door._

_And when the man entered, Lucy was sitting at her desk with her phone to her hand, pen in the other, looking over an essay. His heart swelled at the sight of her. _

_"Yeah, that sounds great. I'm sure Ultear would appreciate that."_

_Natsu cringed, his brows pressing into each other as a scowl appeared on his face._

_"Of course. I know how much Ultear means to you." There was a small smile settling on her lips and it made Natsu feel uneasy._

_"She just needs to come in for a fitting. Levy-chan, Wendy, Mira, Cana, and Lisanna are coming at the end of the week."_

_Natsu could feel his heart break little by little. Every time any wedding planning came up, he always avoided the topic. _

_"Just let me know." She giggled and Natsu's heart stopped. He loved Lucy's laugh. "Yeah, love you too, Gray."_

_And at the moment, Natsu felt sick to his stomach. He **loathed **it, **despised **it. Lucy was his. Not anyone else's; **especially **Gray's. The fact that it was **that** guy out of all guys that was marrying his best friend drove him crazy._

_When Lucy pressed the end button, that's when he saw his chance._

_"Lucy."_

_Called girl jumped in her seat as she squealed a bit and dropped the pen in her hand. Natsu wouldn't deny it was kind of cute the way she was frightened. But when she looked up to him, her eyes widened in horror._

_"Natsu?" She asked in a whisper, "What are you doing here?"_

_He scowled immediately, pursing his lips and fisting his hands in his pockets._

_"You haven't been answering my calls, or my texts." He said, his voice dangerously low._

_"I've been really busy with school and work, Natsu." She replied, looking somewhat exhausted._

_"Or too busy screwing the ice bastard?"_

_"How **dare **you!" Lucy's eyes sharpened quickly and her glare matched his. Natsu admitted silently that maybe those words weren't the best choice of words. "You have **no **right! Gray is my fiancé!"_

_"Yeah, but you don't act like it when I'm the one making you scream at night."_

_That silenced Lucy as quickly as she replied. Her angry brown eyes diminished quickly, guilt and remorse taking over. She looked sad, hurt. And that's when he realized that he had crossed the line._

_When did he turn this way?_

_"You told Levy about us…" Her eyes went wide, "Why?"_

_She was silent, Natsu noted. The youngest Heartfilia looked away, almost as if she was trying to process the information. _

_"Why did you tell Levy?" He asked, a little more forceful. Lucy returned with silence._

_He walked towards her, anger swelling within him. _

_"Dammit Lucy. It was only supposed to be between us!" Natsu raised his voice and Lucy looked at him with confusion swimming in her brown irises._

_"I know! I know!" The blonde shouted, "I just- I just was so confused. With Gray being back and the wedding getting closer and Lisanna going on about how you and she have been really good lately- I just… I just didn't know what to think anymore!"_

_Every time he heard the word "wedding," he felt like knives were stabbing at his heart. Natsu dreaded each day, knowing that the day he lost Lucy forever was approaching quickly. But he didn't want to lose Lucy. He wanted her for himself. _

_"I don't want to hear about Gray. And she thinks we're good because we're actually having reasonable sex. She thinks us having sex means were good, that our relationship is fine. But it's not. It's not okay. And it's all because of you!"_

_Lucy's eyes flashed with hurt and anger. "How can you stand there and put all this blame on me! When were in this **together**!"_

_"You're absolutely right. We are in this together." And in that moment, Natsu moved quickly, capturing her mouth with his. She struggled against his hold, hitting him repeatedly in the chest as he held her face in his hands._

_His hands left her face and he pushed her against the wall, harshly. She squealed under him and tried to get away, but Natsu could feel her succumbing to him. Her resistance against him was failing._

_"Please, Lucy. I miss you." He whispered in their kiss as the fists that were once hitting him, began to clutch the front of his shirt. _

_"Natsu…" She sighed as she muttered his name into their kiss. Said man pressed himself against her harder, kissing her harder. The pink haired man wanted to erase Gray's filthy stench from her. _

_He pushed her until she was sitting on the desk and he parted her legs open with his knees. His hands traveled along the curves of her body, making the blonde sigh under his touch. Natsu imagined his dumbass best friend touching Lucy in all kinds of way and it made the man's blood boil. He wanted it to rid of the presence Gray had on the girl he loved._

_"I love you." He whispered into her neck as he placed kisses at every inch of skin possible._

_Natsu felt her clutch the front of his shirt tighter. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer. He was waiting for her to say it, to say it back to him._

_"I love you too, Natsu."_

_That was all he needed to hear._

_Especially when the two came together and she muttered how much she loved him at every thrust. Or when they were finished, he kissed her long and hard, almost as trying to make up for the fact that they hadn't seen each other in a while._

_After they finished, there was a looming silence between the pair. Natsu didn't know what to say to her. Lucy looked so sad, like she would break any moment. And he knew it was his fault; his fault for pushing this affair onto her. _

_"Luce…" He reached for her hand, but she pulled away._

_"I have to go, Natsu. I have a class at 1." Natsu looked up towards the clock and saw that she had about 20 minutes till her next class. He sighed in disappointment. _

_All he wanted was to have a conversation with her, like they use too, when they were best friends and nothing was completely screwed up between them._

_"Okay."_

_And he watched as the blonde gathered all her belongings and walked out the classroom, where he followed her until they had to go their separate ways. Lucy stopped walking, her head held high. Natsu was slightly confused._

_"We can't keep doing this."_

_"I know."_

_And it was left at that when she walked away. He didn't even get the answer to why she was ignoring him, not that she gave him a chance to ask._

_But Lucy couldn't have made it any clearer._

"Oi. Shit for brains! Are you still in there?"

Natsu swatted Gajeel away from his face and glared at his pierced faced companion.

"Buzz off." He turned around at his desk, pretending to rummage through paperwork.

Gajeel watched his longtime friend sulk to himself. The dark haired man wanted to scoff, thinking of the pathetic attempt the salamander was making at masking his melancholic state. It was annoying having to work with someone who looked like his favorite baseball card was ruined from its perfect stature.

"Are ya fighting with bunny girl?"

Natsu froze, his eyes going wide.

Gajeel narrowed his eyes, watching as the pink haired man froze instantly at his question.

"What the hell are you asking, dumbass? Why the hell would I be sulking over a fight with Lucy?" Natsu turned around and glared at Gajeel.

"Cause' back in the academy days, you and the bunny girl always got into it and you would sulk like this until you guys kissed and made up."

_'Even kissing and making up doesn't help now.' _Natsu thought to himself.

"That was a long time ago! Things are different now! I'm married and she's marry-" But he couldn't bring himself to say it. He couldn't bring himself to say that she was marrying Gray Fullbuster, his guy best friend and number one rival since he could remember.

And Gajeel noticed the way he halted, the way his eyes immediately pained, and the way his lip snarled.

"You don't want her marrying the stripper." The dark haired, red eyed man commented, making Natsu lock eyes with him.

This conversation was treading into dangerous waters.

"I never said that." He spat.

"You might as well have. It's in your eyes, Salamander." Salamander, aka, Natsu, gritted his teeth and refused to acknowledge the truth of his friend's statement.

"Of course I don't want her marrying the damn ice princess! He doesn't think about anyone but himself. I don't trust him to take care of her. He'd probably hurt her!"

"Not any more than you have."

And in that moment, Natsu lost it.

"Shut the _hell_ up! You don't know _anything_!" He knocked over his chair as his eyes were blazed with anger. The glare etched on his face was fierce, almost as intimidating as Erza's. And her glare was infamous. But the senior officer was loud enough to cause a slight scene because now people were staring.

"Your pathetic, Dragneel." Gajeel scoffed, "Getting worked up over a woman that ain't even yours."

Natsu realized how more _real _it sounded when said out loud rather than repeating it in his head. Lucy wasn't his. She didn't belong to him like he wanted her too. No. He let her go. He let her go when he should have chosen her to begin with.

"I'm sleeping with her." He muttered softly, but loud enough that only his pierced faced companion could hear him.

He could hear heavy footsteps as the door was shut to their office.

"Say that again." Gajeel's rough as nails voice demanded.

Natsu sighed as he looked into the red eyes of one of his closest friends.

"I'm sleeping with her."

"You're _what?_" Gajeel asked, in disbelief as his red eyes narrowed with a look of disbelief crossing his pierced face.

"I said _I'm sleeping with her!_" There was a hiss at the end of his statement.

There was a moment of silence as Natsu and Gajeel stared down at each other with the air so tense it was almost hard to breathe.

Next thing that happened, Natsu felt himself being picked off the ground as the dark haired man pulled him from the front of his shirt.

"_You're sleeping with her!?_" Gajeel's eyes were raging as Natsu was pulled closer to the former delinquent's face. "_What the actual fuck!_"

Somewhere in the back of Natsu's mind, he was surprised that Gajeel had not already known this with Levy being his wife. The former pyro was actually surprised that he was standing on two feet. He was almost certain that Levy would have told Gajeel of what Lucy had told him and how Natsu reacted with the blunette.

"What in the _right mind!_" Gajeel sputtered as he threw Natsu back in his chair. "What the _fuck _are you thinki-no, you're not _fucking_ thinking!"

"You're sleeping with Lucy!" He almost yelled and Natsu moved quickly on his feet.

"Don't fuckin yell it to the world, dumbass!"

"The a_ctual fuck_, Salamander!" His normal dull red eyes were suddenly ignited with absolute anger. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You're _married!_ To _Lisanna!_"

"I know." He clutched his fist in guilt, thinking of the beautiful wife he had at home. The beautiful wife who would do absolutely anything and everything for him just to keep him happy.

"And she's _marrying the damn stripper!_"

"I'm well aware of that."

Gajeel watched the young officer, his breathing heavy. He had known Natsu Dragneel since he was thirteen, seeing the young Dragneel at some of his finer and lower points in his life. They hadn't been especially close, their stubborn and haughty attitudes clashing often. But there was a mutual understanding between the two of how they approached relationships.

When the pink haired man began showing interesting in the opposite sex, Gajeel knew that after years of being best friends, he would finally ask Lucy Heartfilia to be his girlfriend.

So when Natsu Dragneel wrote off the young blonde and dated the youngest of the Strauss siblings, Lisanna Strauss, he, along with all of Fairy Tail Academy, dropped their jaws in shock. And Gajeel wouldn't deny the anger and frustration he felt towards the dense pyro after watching his wife's best friend break down when Natsu left her behind.

Bunny girl, aka Lucy Heartfilia, wasn't exactly his biggest fan after he mocked Levy for so long. She would often reprimand him for his childish behavior towards the bluenette that was now his wife. After some time, Lucy had become one of his closest friends, despite the differences in personality.

So watching the strong willed, cheerful, always smiling, down to earth blonde he'd come to appreciate break down to a mess of sobs in Levy's arm the same night made Gajeel's blood boil to where he wanted to grab the pink haired man by the front of shirt, drag him to Levy's, and show him the mess he caused.

And he wouldn't deny the satisfaction he felt when Lucy had come to Gajeel about her starting a relationship with Gray Fullbuster. Knowing that the young Heartfilia was dating the best friend and number 1 rival of the pink haired idiot brought joy to him because he knew it would not settle well with Natsu.

And it didn't.

So the only question he had left was why?

"Is this some kind of _sick joke_?" Gajeel rummaged a hand through his hair, wondering _why _Lucy would agree to something as _unethical_, as _unmoral_, and as _heinous_ as this.

"I can't _believe_ this shit."

Natsu hadn't spoken a word since Gajeel's outburst. He'd rather let the man pace around, yelling obscenities than a fist to his face; which he more than deserved.

"I wasn't going to say anything, but Lucy told Levy and-"

"The shrimp _knows_?" Gajeel quickly turned towards the rosy haired man and Natsu realized he just threw Levy under the bus.

"Apparently." He muttered, "Lucy told her."

"Who else knows?" He asked.

"Just you and Levy." Natsu at least hoped it was only those two. Though, he didn't think Lucy would tell anyone else. Levy was her most trusted friend. Lucy wouldn't tell Juvia, not that the two were speaking anyway. Ever since Gray and Lucy began dating, Juvia cut all ties with the blonde. The woman who loved Gray dearly left Magnolia as soon as she graduated. Last they knew, she was in a relationship with Gray's adopted brother, Lyon Vastia.

There were a few others: Cana Alberona, Mirajane Strauss (that was an obvious no), and the abominable and ferocious Erza Scarlet.

Cana Alberona was Gray's closest female friend, besides Lucy and Erza. The drunkard brunette loved Gray like a little brother, always looking out for him. If she caught wind of the situation, she would cut off Natsu's manhood and shame Lucy.

Mirajane Strauss was a clear no, with her sister being married to Natsu himself. There was a time when the oldest of the Strauss siblings wanted the two together, always playing matchmaker in their academy days. But when the rosette chose Lisanna and ended up marrying her, her dream never came true.

And he didn't think Mirajane would take lightly that Lucy, her essentially adopted little sister, was having an affair with her _actual _little sister's husband. And the white haired Strauss would bury the pinkette man in a heap of hurt, being overprotective of her precious little sister.

Erza Scarlet was a definite no, knowing that both Lucy and Natsu would be killed on the spot for the reckless actions they both had taken. Erza Scarlet was an honorable person, always following the rules sharply and diligently. Back in their teenage years, she would always threaten the boys for even mentioning something about the opposite sex.

Lucy would never tell Erza about the affair. She would never want Erza to look at her with such disappointed and shameful eyes. Especially because the scarlet was the older sister the blonde haired woman never had in her life.

"How long has this been happening for." Gajeel asked with angry, red eyes.

"Almost a year."

"_Fuckin shit._" He heard the man mutter under his breath.

"You can't say anything, Gajeel."

That's when said man turned towards the pinkette _idiot _standing in front of him. His _stupid _companion was looking at him with a countenance of concern and determination.

"You expect me to just _let _this continue!?"

"Yes."

Gajeel stared at him with hard eyes as Natsu was pleading, almost begging. If this was any other situation, the steel man would be using this as blackmail. But this was not one of those situations.

"_God dammit!_" The pierced faced man shouted, knocking the files over form his desk. With irritation and frustration boiling in his chest, Gajeel stormed out of their office, slamming their door shut behind them.

Natsu sighed heavily as eyes from around the office stared, their eyes trailing from Gajeel to the pinkette, back and forth. The pink haired man could only hope that Gajeel kept the secret, or else both he and Lucy were in a heap of trouble.

**_-O-_**

**_One year ago_**

_The sun shone down brightly as a slight breeze swept in as a busty blonde made her way through the crowd. Her breathing was slightly erratic and her hair a bit disheveled as she ran towards the park. Dressed in her denim blue shorts and a thin, red long sleeved sweater, her brown eyes scanned the area, searching for a head of pink._

_When spotted, Lucy Heartfilia couldn't stop the smile from growing on her face._

_"Natsu!"_

_Called man turned at the sound of his name and smiled immediately as his childhood best friend made her way towards him._

_"Yo, Lucy!" The pink haired man called out, wearing a snug, charcoal gray fitted shirt and black shorts that made their way down his knees. "Long time no see!"_

_The young Heartfilia stopped short in front of him, her bright smile still etched on her lips._

_"Yeah… How are you?" Lucy asked, eying the way Natsu handsomely grew up._

_After they graduated from Fairy Tail Academy, Lucy had decided to attend another university in the city of Crocus. Lucy had only recently returned, being in Magnolia for a few months. She was attending Graduate School at Magnolia University alongside with Levy, and living with her now fiancé Gray Fullbuster._

_There was reasons to why she left Magnolia in the first place, the man standing in front of her being reason number 1. Natsu Dragneel was her best friend, and the man she was in love with. Not being able to stand the sight of he and her close friend Lisanna Strauss being together, she decided to leave Magnolia for a school in Crocus. _

_Lucy would admit that it was selfish and cowardly, leaving everyone behind because of a single person, but the blonde did a lot of growing up during her time away and even got over Natsu. Well, not completely, but she was marrying his best friend, Gray Fullbuster._

_It was a weird concept, especially because she had always seen Gray as her surrogate brother because she was so stuck on the pinkette. But somewhere along the way, she found herself attracted toward the dark haired, stoic man. And he had been there for Lucy during her darkest times, not letting her fall into complete darkness._

_"Not too bad! Especially because I get to see you!" He grinned, and Lucy couldn't help herself as her heart fell to the bottom of her stomach as the familiar smile that she had fallen for so many years ago was placed on his face._

_Why did he have to say things like that?_

_"Yeah… sorry about being gone for a few years. I just needed something new, you know?" They began to walk, taking a stroll through the park._

_Natsu had called her out of the blue, demanding if it was true that she had returned to Magnolia. When Lucy had told him he was correct, he decided they needed a day to catch up. Lucy was scared. She loved Gray, she did. And even though she had suppressed her feelings for Natsu over the years, there was no telling what would happen to her if she saw him again._

_"I understand... just, don't leave without saying goodbye, okay?" _

_Lucy immediately blushed as the pinkette enveloped her in a tight hug. He smelled of bonfire, and pine. Just like in the past. He really hadn't changed all too much, except for the fact that now they were older, he was married and she was soon to be married._

_The blonde hugged him back and said "Yeah, of course."_

_After meeting up the first time, talking for hours on end, they decided to meet up at least once a week, if durable. It was going fine, Lucy thought. _

_It was measly two friends catching up on old times._

_Or that's what she told herself as she caught herself looking at Natsu's lips, or staring adoringly at his still fit body, or leaning into his hugs and staying for a lot longer than she should have been._

_And she wasn't the only one who was doing these things. _

_She noticed Natsu would linger his fingers on her hers, or hold her closer to him, sometimes even flirt under the table. _

_It was dangerous, the line they were at. _

_Natsu was married, and she was engaged. _

_Gray was wary of her meetings with Natsu, concerned for her emotional stability, knowing that she would never truly be over the pink haired man that broke her heart over ten years ago. But he trusted her, as he explicitly let her know after one night when she returned from a dinner with the pinkette._

_Lucy felt guilty for making Gray feel this way, so insecure of himself and their relationship. So the blonde decided to put a stop to meeting with the pink haired man weekly and made it only once or twice a month._

_But Lucy realized it was too late, because she found herself missing Natsu, missing him dearly. And like that, she realized that those suppressed emotions she hid deep inside were back and her feelings for the pinkette were stronger than ever. _

_So it was a surprise when Natsu called her one day, asking her if she was home. Gray had been out of town that week, meeting with a director who wanted to take the young Fullbuster on a tour for his art. Her fiancé was talented artist, his ice sculptor's being the finest she had ever seen. And she was beyond proud for the dark haired man when he received a call to meet with the man who wanted to showcase his beautiful works throughout the country._

_So Lucy was alone, the dark haired man not returning for another few days; not that it mattered if Gray was home or not. Though, knowing both men, they would most likely fight the entire time rather than have a decent conversation. _

_She had invited Natsu over, being able to read his tone and realizing something was wrong with him. And being the best friend the blonde had always been, she wanted to make sure he was okay._

_When Natsu arrived, Lucy noticed the air was different around the pinkette. He was much quieter, reserved, and a look of annoyance and irritation was settled on his normal, easy going countenance. Not wanting to push the conversation, Lucy offered him a drink, hoping that may smooth the atmosphere._

_But instead, Lucy was met with dark, lusting eyes._

_"Natsu?" She could feel her voice going hoarse, "Why are you looking at me like that?"_

_"I'm an idiot." The man said, his voice dark and low._

_Lucy chuckled, hoping to vanquish the tense air. "Of course you are! You've always been an idiot, you dolt."_

_It happened almost instantly, where the blonde found herself caged in her best friend's arms, her back pressed against the wall, Natsu's face only mere inches away from hers. His onyx eyes were swimming with confusion and lust as his pupils dilated. With eyes like a predator, Lucy gulped, feeling her knees weak under Natsu's animalistic gaze._

_"I'm an idiot, **Lucy**, because for the past few weeks I have been driving myself **insane.** I've been waiting, waiting for you to call or text me, so we can meet up because there's nothing I've wanted more than to see you."_

_Lucy could feel her breath caught in her throat. Why was Natsu saying these things? Why was he so close to her? Why was he looking at her like he wanted to ravish her?_

_"Natsu… Please don't look at me like that." Lucy pleaded. Was it possible to get hot and bothered under a look of such intimidation?_

_He licked his lips, not making this any easier for her._

_"Why? Does it bother you?" He grew closer, and Lucy could practically feel his breath on her lips. Her eyes fell, half lidded, hazy under his scent._

_"No." She said as her hands snaked up his chest. "It makes me want to kiss you."_

_No sooner than when the words left her mouth, Natsu's lips found hers almost instantly. Hungrily and needy, they kissed each other, long, lost lovers who had been separated for years. Lucy's arms snaked around his neck as Natsu's ran under her shirt and left hot, seething trails under her shirt._

_Lucy sighed into his kiss, as he pushed past her lips and found her tongue. Obviously the most dominant, the pinkette overtook her and explored the moist hot cavern as his hands made their way up and down her body. The blonde's hands found their way into his hair and entangled them into his pink locks. With her knees feeling weak, she jumped, wrapping her long legs around his waist, their lips not leaving one another._

_She couldn't think, couldn't breathe as her pink haired best friend planted kisses down her neck, and viciously attacked her open skin as he grinded into her against the wall. All these years, Lucy had wondered what it felt like to kiss those pink lips of her best friend, feel his skin on hers, and feel so close and intimate to him._

_And now she knew as he peeled off the clothes from her body, one article at a time. Their kisses were hungry, needy, desperate, messy, and frustrating as they explored one another's bodies. Lucy's thoughts were in disarray and incoherent as he made her drunk on his scent, high off his ravishing kisses. _

_The only sentences she could form came as moans or screams as they came together as one. When he entered her, all she saw was the stars. And as he came in and out of her, repeatedly, slowly and rapidly, her throat began to sting as the screams intensified._

_And when they came together and the fireworks behind her eye lids ceased and her high and adrenaline wore off, Lucy couldn't stop the smile from appearing on her face._

_Especially when Natsu kissed her soundly and whispered "I love you," into her ear. That made the tears pool into her eyes, which caused Natsu to laugh and say "You're such a cry baby, Luce," kissing her once more._

_This is what it felt like to be loved by Natsu Dragneel, to have him shine you with his pearly whites and light you up with his honest eyes. This is what it felt like to make love to her best friend. I was everything she imagined._

_But once things settled and Natsu had fallen asleep next to her, that's when the gravity of their love making had hit her. _

_She was engaged._

_To another man._

_Natsu was married._

_To another woman._

_They had committed a sin; a dishonorable, greedy, tempting, unethical, sin. They had committed adultery, crossing a line that can't be uncrossed. Lucy felt like vomiting, the guilt of their actions overtaking her. _

_As she left the bed side of the man she loved so much, she threw a shirt on and ran to the bathroom, projecting the contents of her stomach into the toilet. When the blonde was done, she stood, looking in the air, not recognizing the girl on the other side. And that was unbearable._

_When Natsu awoke and realized what they had done, it was quiet and she could see guilt on his face. And as selfish as it sounded, she hoped he hadn't regretted sleeping with her. Because that would destroy Lucy._

_"God, Natsu. What have we done?" Lucy asked, clearly in distress._

_ "I wasn't joking when I said I love you, Lucy." He looked up to her with hard, sad eyes. "I'm sorry it took me this long to realize, at a really shitty time in our lives, but I love you." He went in and kissed her lightly. "Do you love me?"_

_How long had Lucy been longing to hear those words from him? She nodded whispering "I love you too", and he went in and captured her lips again, kissing away her tears. The pinkette pulled her in for an embrace, hugging her close to him. _

_"This will stay between us, okay? Lisanna and the stripper don't have to know." Comforting her by clenching her hand, Natsu look at Lucy with reassurance with a small smile._

_"Okay."_

_Little did they both know, it started something much bigger._

**_-O-_**

Gajeel knew. And he looked absolutely furious, his eyes hateful towards her. The pierced faced man cornered her, yelling at her for how _stupid a_nd _foolish s_he was being. He reminded her of the heartache that Natsu brought her, how much pain he put her in. He reminded her of how Gray, who had no obligation to her, had come by and put her back together.

Gajeel was a great friend to her, creating a brother/sister relationship, especially because he was married to her best friend. The dark haired man came crawling to her when it came to anything that had to do with their favorite bluenette. Whether it was a prom proposal or their actual wedding proposal, Lucy was his right handed helper.

So disappointing him made Lucy feel awful.

And when confessing the truth to Levy, she was so scared, so frightened, her blue haired best friend would judge her, and leave her. Lucy was grateful when Levy hugged her and said they would work things out together. She had been by the blonde's side, encouraging her to stop seeing Natsu, taking her phone away, telling Natsu to stop.

A few weeks had passed since the incident with Natsu at school and she had seen him a few times. But Lucy avoided him like the plague. The blonde had other things on her mind, like her wedding rehearsal. She told Natsu that they couldn't do this, they really couldn't and left it at that. Lucy walked in his opposite direction.

But she knew she would see him at her wedding rehearsal because he was Gray's best man. How ironic, Lucy thought. Her fiancé's best man was the man she was having an affair with.

The wedding rehearsal went as planned and despite Natsu's appearance, all we going well. She was at Gray's side all night, greeting and welcoming guest all night. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Natsu and Lisanna together, laughing with other guest and catching up with friends.

It was still painful to see them together, even after all these years. It had lessened, over the time she was gone. But, now more than ever, it increased again.

"Lucy." Said woman turned, along with her fiancé at the calling of her name. And when the pair turned, they both went wide eyed.

"Juvia?" Lucy gasped, surprised to see her here out of everyone.

At her side, stood Lyon Vastia, Gray's adopted brother. He was smiling, giving a hug to Gray.

"Juvia is here to celebrate the two of you." The once deemed 'rain woman' smiled slightly, her eyes still unclear.

"Yes! I couldn't miss my little brother's wedding rehearsal! And my lovely Juvia agreed to join." Lucy smiled, feeling happy to see her longtime friend. Juvia Lockser had been in love with Gray since middle school and Lucy had always pushed the two towards each other, but Gray refused to date her.

Lucy now understood why, but back then, Juvia always tried her best to have the young Fullbuster fall in love with her. But to no avail, it didn't work. So when Juvia caught wind up Lucy and Gray dating, Juvia felt betrayed and heartbroken, leaving the moment she got the chance. By chance, they ran into Chelia, Wendy's girlfriend and a friend of Lyon's, and she informed them that the two had started a relationship.

Lucy realized she was Juvia over time, and understood from both an emotional and physical view of what Juvia as feeling. Though Juvia always deemed her a 'love rival,' they were great friends. So the blonde could only imagine the heart ache the blue haired woman felt when Lucy began to date the man she was in love with.

"I'm glad you were both able to make it." Lucy was eager for a hug, but didn't want to push her luck with Juvia, not knowing where they stood.

They both stalked off into the crowd, leaving the couple behind. Lucy sighed sadly, her eyes dropping with sadness. That's when she felt a strong clench at her hand and a kiss to her cheek.

"Don't worry about it. Juvia will be fine." Gray reassured. He smiled, caressing her hand in his. "Lyon will take care of her. She will get over it someday. I mean, she's here right? So that's a good first step."

Lucy smiled, nodding slightly.

This was why she fell for Gray. Because behind that brooding, scowling face was a man who cared, a man who smiled, a man who gave her reassurance and stability.

And the entire night, he was a complete gentlemen. He teased her, played with her, and treated her so kindly. So when Lucy stepped away from him for a few minutes to go to the bathroom, she was surprised to be hauled into a dark closet, lips devouring hers. It took her a moment to realize what was going on, but when she felt hands riding under her breath, Lucy knew exactly who this was and what situation the blonde found herself in.

"Natsu, s_top it!_" She whispered harshly, pushing him away.

"Do you have any idea how good you look right now? And how jealous I am to see that bastard's hands all over you?" He pushed her against the wall, his mouth finding her neck. "I want to wring him, throw him over the roof."

"_Natsu stop!_" Lucy pushed him away again, this time more roughly.

He looked hurt, not understanding why Lucy was pushing him away.

"This is my w_edding rehearsal! _We can't be doing this! Especially not here!"

"Well you've been ignoring me for weeks! I figured this was the only way I could get your damn attention!" He shouted back.

"I'm getting married, Natsu! _MARRIED. _I'm aware it may mean _nothing_ to you, but it means e_verything _to me!"

"Of course it means something to me, Luce! Because you are the one I want to be married too! Not Lisanna! And I sure as hell don't want you marrying the damn, stripping bastard! I want you to marry me!"

Lucy was taken aback, not having heard those words from him before. Did he know what he was implying? He was implying a divorce from Lisanna, and for her to call off the wedding with Gray. He was implying something drastic.

She was silent for a moment, her eyes falling.

Why couldn't he have thought this years ago? When they were both still at the academy and he choose Lisanna? Why didn't he realize he loved Lucy when things weren't so complicating? When she would have married him in a heartbeat. When he w_asn't _married and she _wasn't_ engaged.

"I have to go." She said, leaving the closet, not taking another look at Natsu.

Her night was ruined, as forced smiles made their way to her face and she continued to pretend she was happy and enjoying herself. The blonde stopped looking for the pinkette, focusing her attention solely on her husband to be.

But Lucy's night had only taken a turn for the worst.

Hearing Gray open himself up to the crowd of friends at their wedding rehearsal, and thanking all their friends for their constant support tore her apart limb by limb. Having Gray open himself up to her, confessing all his insecurities and the reason why he was always so _reserved _and _closed off _from the world crushed her soul.

She's had it.

She couldn't take it anymore.

She couldn't take the train wreck she was leaving behind her at every step she took. It was frustrating, and consuming. And absolutely suffocating. She couldn't _breathe_.

The way his fingers so carefully caressed her skin burned _so much_. The way his kiss felt heavy on her lips weighed her down. The way he smiled at her, like a stupid fool in love, was antagonizing.

Because Lucy Heartfilia did _not _deserve that good of a man; a man who was willing to share himself with her because she brought him out of the light. A man who had nothing in his life, yet still lived onwards, with certain uncertainty ahead of him. A man who picked the pieces of her heart off the ground and tried so hard to put her back together. A man who loved her so much even though he knew she still loved another man.

She couldn't take it.

So she ran. Immediately after his speech, she ran away from her fiancé in shame, ignoring his calls of concern and worry.

Her stomach coiled and a sudden urge to vomit overcame her.

She stopped her running and eyed for the nearest trash can. When she spotted one, Lucy ran towards it and hurled the contents of her stomach. Tears formed at the rims of her eyes as she vomited once, twice again.

When the blonde no longer felt the need to continue, she wiped her mouth and heaved, closing her eyes shut.

"_Lucy, wait!_"

And she couldn't be persuaded by the rosy haired man she loved so much anymore. She had to stop. Stop going back to him. Stop running back to the man who caused her _so much pain_.

But how could she stop herself from going back to the man who caused her so much pain when it _hurt so damn much _to be away from him also?

How could she tear herself away from a man that she fell so deeply in love with? The man that she's known her entire life. The man who always smiled at her and picked her up when she fell. The man who promised to turn any person to ash whenever they hurt her.

How could she walk away from Natsu Dragneel?

"_Dammit stop!_"

Lucy heard _his_ voice trailing behind her as she ran faster. She couldn't let him catch up to her. She couldn't let him. If Natsu stopped her now, coddled her, comforted her, it would be the _end _of her. The blonde would never be able to cut the ties from him.

The hotel was the only option for escape. There, she could hide away, behind a closed door and drink away her sorrows. When she saw the valet entrance, she sniffed and ran harder, ignoring the call behind her.

Those around her eyed her with strange looks, as she ran with her tight fit dress that hugged her curves so graciously that men had to take a double take to her. When she bolted through the doors, she went straight to the front desk, pleading for a key to her room.

The receptionist must have felt sorry for her horrific state because she didn't even ask for a name or some sort of identification. The young woman programed the key and Lucy hurriedly thanked her, quickly making her way through the crowd to the elevator.

"Lucy, DAMMIT. WAIT."

The brown haired maiden shut her eyes, ignoring the pleas from the man behind her. Why couldn't it be Gray following her? Why did it have to be Natsu? Why couldn't her fiancé chase her down, whisper sweet nothings of reassurance? Why did it have to be the compulsive, self-obsessed, headstrong, grinning, blundering fool she fell so hard for?

When she caught the elevator, she pressed the close door button rapidly, biting down on her lip. Lucy could hear his heavy footsteps making their way around the corner, and she closed her eyes, praying that he wouldn't catch it.

That's when she heard the doors close. Pressing the 14 button, she slid down the wall of the four walled room and tears leaked from her brown eyes. Her hands immediately covered her face as an overwhelming wave of sadness overtook her.

When the elevator dinged, she immediately stood up, not caring how horrendous Lucy may have looked with her make up smeared and her hair tangled and her dress ruined with dirt and grime from being exposed to the streets.

Lucy ran down the hall towards her room, not before looking around to assure that Natsu wasn't around and opened the door. As she did so, she made her way inside and shut the door behind her quickly.

A sigh of relief left her lips, as she once again slid down the door, the tears continuously falling. The blonde didn't know how to stop the aching in her heart, the pain that was so endearing. Every time she closed her eyes, Natsu was there, smiling at her with his charming grin and rosy pink hair. Natsu was there instead of her fiancé. Gray, with his lavishing raven locks and his dark, mysterious eyes, and his small, small smile that spoke volumes.

Why couldn't she just forget about him?

Why couldn't Lucy just _let go_.

He was married! Married to one of her _closest friends!_

It was clear. Natsu picked Lisanna. He picked Lisanna. And Lucy's heart was crushed from that day, smiling, lying through her teeth like she was okay with his decision, supporting him through his relationship with her.

No matter how much it hurt.

Lucy's thoughts were interrupted as a rough pounding was vibrating against the door. With her hands immediately shooting towards her ears, the blonde haired maiden clutched her ears shut, hoping to silence out the intruder.

"**_Dammit_**_ Lucy! Open the damn door!"_

Squeezing her eyes more intensely, she bit down on her lip, ignoring the calls on the other side.

"_Lucy_! _I **know** you're in there! So **open** the fuckin door!_"

"_No! Go away, Natsu! Leave me alone!_" She didn't even realize the words left her mouth until she said it. Her eyes wide, she quickly clasped her hand over her mouth.

_"No! We **need** to talk, dammit! I will **not** leave until you **open** the door!" _

"Natsu, _leave!_" The woman shouted, "I have nothing to say to you!"

"_Bullshit! You have **everything** to say to me."_ His voice quieted, and Lucy could hear his breathing from the other side of the door.

"I've said it all these past 12 years! I have _nothing_ else to say to you!" Lucy couldn't control the sobbing, the knot in her throat. She couldn't stop the way her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest at any given moment.

"_Luce_…" God, she hated him so much when he used that name with her, "_Please. **Please**, let me in._"

His voice was pleading, dangerously low, almost like he had given up. Would she let him in? If she did, there was no telling what would conspire between the two, especially with their emotions on high.

"Natsu, you have to leave. You can't be here. If Gray catches you here, he'll-"

"_The_ **_fuck_**_ I **care** if the damn stripper finds me here, he's the one that took you from me!_"

Something clicked in the blonde, a sudden anger, a coil that sprung deep within the depths of her stomach. Her brain clicked, and she felt on fire. Lucy immediately stood up, her eyes narrowed into a sharp glare, burning wildly.

Lucy opened the door, meeting with Natsu's equally frustrated and irritated onyx eyes.

"How _dare _you say that!" Lucy started, "How _dare _you say that Gray _took me from you when I **wasn't **even yours to begin with!_"

Natsu seemed surprised by her sudden outburst, her teeth obviously gritting under her jawline. She turned away, her hands in her hair as she mumbled angrily to herself. He followed her in, shutting the door and locking it behind him.

"Do you _even know _how we got here in the first place?" Lucy's voice dipped low, her brown eyes still read and puffy with her tears. "How _this _even started? It's because of you!"

Lucy pointed at him as his eyes widened with surprise.

"_You choose Lisanna!_" She cried, her tears building once more, her voice cracking. "You choose her! I was in love with you since I was fourteen! _Fourteen _Natsu! And somewhere along the way, I thought you loved me too! We got along s_o well_. And we we're always so close and then I found myself loving everything you did, everything we had!"

"You were more than my best friend! You were the guy that I fell in love with! And then you choose Lisanna!" Lucy hung her head as vivid memories came rushing into her mind of the day she lost Natsu forever. "You asked me to help you ask her out! You fuckin' asked me to help you ask her out! How could you do that? How could you do that to me?"

"How the fuck was I supposed to know you were in love with me, Lucy?" Natsu retorted, coming closer to her. "How was I supposed to know that you, _my best friend_, was in love with me?"

"How could I say 'I love you' when you came running to me with a stupid blush on your cheeks and a cheesy smile on your face, telling me that you think you really liked Lisanna and wanted to date her? How could I possibly be so selfish and tell you 'No, love me because I love you!' How could I have said I love you when you were so clearly head over heels with Lisanna?"

"That's e_xactly _what you tell me!" Natsu said, wishing Lucy did tell him those words all those years ago. Because God, look at them now.

"Do you know how much it hurt to see you and Lisanna together? Do you know how much it hurt to hear you tell me about your first date? Your first kiss? Your problems? Your thoughts on asking her to marry you? Watching you marry her?" Lucy was hugging herself, shaking. "It was _killing _me, seeing he two of you together. But I knew I had to be your best friend, and support you. Support your relationship no matter how awful it made me feel."

Natsu felt like a thousand knives were pricking at his body. He never realized how _much _he hurt Lucy until today. This past year, during their affair, he could feel Lucy's emotions during their love making. It was desperate, and at first, much sadness. It was needy and thrilling, satisfying.

Even before he and Lucy had started this affair, Natsu realized he made the wrong choice. Lisanna wasn't the girl he was meant to be with.

It was Lucy.

It was always Lucy.

"But I'm here now, Lucy! I've seen the light, smelled the coffee, or whatever the hell you want to call it! I realized it _now. _I _know _I made the wrong choice. I see it now! I don't love Lisanna! I never did!" He confessed, grabbing her shoulders. "All this time, I thought I loved her when it was really you. It was always you, Luce."

The blonde shrugged away from his hold and took a step back, her jaw clenched and the tears still falling.

"How could you say that? You _married _her, Natsu! _You married her! _You were with her for ten years! And you've been married to her for four! So how could you say you didn't love her? And then go and proclaim that you want to marry me at my w_edding rehearsal! _How could you do something like that?!" Lucy was livid, hearing this confession from Natsu.

He was always such a good guy, even if he broke her heart. He was never the douchebag type; the type to butter you up then break your heart (voluntarily). The pinkette was sweet, and charming, and though not always a complete gentlemen, he tried, always going to the end of the world for you.

How could he sit there and say he never loved Lisanna?

And how could he have gone and told Lucy that he wanted to marry her?

"Because this entire time, I was fooling myself! It was you, Lucy! I love you!" He stepped closer, his eyes swimming with turmoil and anger. "After time I realized, 'Is this all there is with Lisanna? Is this all I have to look forward too?' Lis is great. She cooks for me, cleans for me, listens to me, provides me with everything I would ever need. She is the perfect wife."

"But she isn't you."

Natsu's sudden change in tone took Lucy aback, not having seen this side of the pinkette before.

"She doesn't challenge me. She doesn't yell at me when I put my shoes on the wrong rack, or yell at me when I leave me dirty dishes in the living room or dirty clothes in the room. She doesn't get on my case about getting my work done and finds excuses for me for why I didn't get it done. She doesn't get under my nerves and work me up. She doesn't tell my lazy ass to get up and go to work when I don't want too. I don't get jealous when I see other guys flirting with her. I don't feel possessive like a man should for his wife. I don't get excited to come home to her. I don't look forward to spending the night with her. I don't feel any of this for her."

"But for you, I do." Natsu moved closer, trapping Lucy with a wall to her back and the pinkette in front of her. "When all these thoughts were racing in my mind, all I could think of was _you_. You are the only person who does that for me. So can't you see it, Luce? Can't you see that I am in love with you? And I have been way before we started this?"

Her head was swarming with doubt and confusion as Natsu's hot breath was so close to her, driving her insane. Lucy could smell the cologne and sweat off his back as his suit was ragged and dirty, probably from chasing her down.

"If you truly loved me for so long, why did it take you so long? Why was it only when we started seeing each other again did you start showing me? Did you tell me?" She pressed, enduring Natsu's intoxicating smell.

"Because you _disappeared _Lucy! Dammit! You disappeared! You left Magnolia as soon as we graduated from Fairy Tail! Do you know how much I missed you after you left!? I was a fuckin mess! I was out searching for you every night, asking everybody who could have known where you were to tell me where you were so I could fuckin' drag you back! I looked for you e_verywhere!_"

Lucy was surprised to hear that, because no one had told her that Natsu had acted out. No that she ever asked when she spoke to friends from home.

"Eventually, I stopped. Levy told me you were fine and you needed a break, to get away from Magnolia, and I accepted that. But I never stopped thinking about you. Even when I was with Lisanna, you were the only person on my mind." Lucy noticed the way the pinkette's eyes fell with sadness. "I got over it and I asked Lisanna to marry me. And here were are, 4 years later! And God, I am so in love with you. Now more than ever."

Natsu leaned in for a kiss, but Lucy was perceptive, and turned away immediately. This left the man confused, staring at her with anxious, onyx eyes.

"Natsu, I love you." The pinkette was worried, the tone in Lucy's voice shifting to one he didn't quite understand. "I love you so much. I'm so in love with you. And I don't think there will ever be a time where I don't love you."

"But you're too late."

Natsu Dragneel felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach, and the distance between he and Lucy suddenly seemed a lot farther than before.

"Gray is the one I'm going to marry. Gray is the one I'm going to love and spend the rest of my life." Natsu felt his entire world fall as those words left Lucy's lips, not anticipating this. "He watched me shatter, watch me tear myself apart, watch my heart be torn into pieces. And without even realizing, he helped me put myself back together. He knew that I still loved you, loved you so much. But Gray, he, he was willing to take a chance with me, and now look at where we are."

Tears fell from her eyes once more, tears of absolute regret and sorrow. "I love Gray, Natsu. I love him so much. Because he did the impossible with me. He put me back together, and even though he knew it would take a long time, loved me anyway. He was willing to open himself up to me, allow me to see him for who he really is. Gray trusted me with that much. And how do I repay him? I sleep with his best friend, for a _year_. How is that okay? How could I do that to a man who loves me so much?"

Natsu felt like crying. The man was strong willed, hardly shedding tears in his life. But hearing Lucy talk so lovingly about another man, a man that was his rival since he could walk, broke him.

"Tonight, I realized that no matter how much I love you, it's not going to change that we are wrong for each other. This isn't healthy. We are not healthy for each other. We're possessive and that isn't okay. I shouldn't be in physical and emotional pain every time I think of you. I shouldn't be crying after every time we have sex. I wanted you, Natsu. But not like this. Not the way we are now."

"We can make it work, Lucy. I can divorce Lisanna right now and you could call off the wedding with Gray and we could move away and just start a life. With the two of us. Lucy, chose me. Love me. Marry me. Please. I know I'm late, I know I've always had stupid timing, I know I'm possessive and idiotic, but Lucy, I love you. So please, don't chose him."

Lucy shook her head, sadness overwhelming her. Why Natsu? Why had he decided so late that he wanted to love her?

"At the expense of losing all those we love? Natsu, I can't. We can't. You have a wife. A wife who loves you very much." Smiling, Lucy reached for his cheek, "A wife who is probably concerned for your well-being and thinking you hate her because you left her. And I have a fiancé, who I love and who I'm going to marry."

It was then that Natsu realized that this was it. After dreading losing Lucy for a whole year while silently thinking he could whisk her away, the time had come where she had let him go.

And now he finally understood the pain Lucy was in for the last ten years. It was an awful feeling, loving someone so much to have them choose someone else to love in the end.

The pinkette looked over Lucy once more, absorbing her, mesmerizing her. How he wished that he wasn't so stupid back at sixteen and ignore Lucy's feelings. Because perhaps, instead of Lucy picking Gray and he being married to Lisanna, he and Lucy could have had a life together. A joyous, nontoxic life where they were always smiling and laughing. A life where they could have married and lived a long life together.

But instead, Natsu was left with a hand of what if's.

"I love you." Lucy said as she reached upwards and kissed him soundly on the lips one last time.

The kiss was small, and loving. But it felt like closure, because that's what it was.

"I love you too." He said, his eyes dipped in melancholy.

"You have to go now."

Natsu smiled weakly, suppressing his urge to hug her. Lucy returned the smile, her eyes also sad.

Perhaps there was always a distance between the two that Natsu couldn't quite close. Maybe that's why Lucy was always out of his reach, even if she was always at his side. Maybe that's why when it counted the most, that's why he choose Lisanna over Lucy.

And when he walked out of hotel room 1412, he wasn't surprised by who he was greeted with. Nor the fist that met with his face. Repeatedly. But he didn't bother fighting back, not when he deserved this beating.

When Gray was done and shoved Natsu away, there was silence. But Gray's eyes spoke a thousand words; betrayal, anguish, heartache, misery.

"She choose you, you know? I begged her and she choose you. So don't leave her." Natsu spoke, chuckling, wiping the blood from his mouth.

"Why should I listen to _anything _you say?" Gray retorted, his eyes blazing.

"Because I caused this. I broke her, and you put her back together." Standing up Natsu dusted himself off, trying to look presentable for when he found his wife. "She loves you. And she wants to spend the rest of her life with you. So for what it's worth, don't leave her. Because you're never going to find another girl like her."

And with that, Natsu walked away, leaving Gray to ponder on his words.

After all, the young Dragneel had a wife to look for.

Lucy was on the other side of the door, listening to the two boys. When Natsu had left, she fell to the floor and cried. Cried from relief, from sorrow, from happiness. Because she was finally, _finally _able to let go of the man who brought her so much heartache.

The weights on her shoulders were lifted and she felt like she could _breathe _again. She felt like light, like she could fly. Though, she knew the hard part wasn't over.

She had to tell Gray.

Tell him everything.

And even though there was a great possibility that he might call off the engagement and break up with her on the spot, she was okay with that. Because she deserved it. Lucy deserved whatever future treatment Gray would thrust upon her.

But when she heard shuffling noises outside her door, she ran, looking out the peephole, only to see Gray beating Natsu, punching him repeatedly, over and over. And the pinkette was fighting back.

And that's when it dawned on Lucy that Gray must have heard the entire conversation. And she suddenly felt sick to her stomach. The blonde stepped away from the door, horror written on her face.

Lucy was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't hear the door opening behind her, and the footsteps that made their way throughout the room.

"Lucy."

Called woman froze, her heart beating out of her chest. The youngest Heartfilia turned, facing the man she choose.

Gray Fullbuster was livid, she knew. The dark haired man was a mess, his suit and hair disheveled as blood stained the white button up shirt. His dark eyes burned with betrayal and hurt as his face was arranged into a deep scowl.

The blonde breathed, deciding to stay strong.

"You heard everything, right?" He nodded slightly to her question.

"An apology is insulting to you, so I won't bother with that. But, I didn't want you to find out this way." Lucy said as her shoulders slumped, Gray's eyes not leaving hers. "I know I betrayed you, and your trust. I understand why you beat Natsu. And I would understand if you wanted to call off the wedding and break up this very second. And I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't."

Lucy was met with silence. She sighed, taking this as her cue to leave. She knew her fiancé, and she knew that when he was angry, he preferred to be alone and deal with his issues in solitude. Though, as of late, he would open himself to her about the problems he'd face.

But how was he supposed to go to Lucy when she was the problem?

Lucy began to walk away, grabbing her bag so she could dial Levy's number. The blonde would need a place to sleep tonight, and Levy was the only person who would understand.

"You choose me."

The brown eyed woman stopped in her tracks, smiling to herself, not bothering to look back.

"Yes, Gray. I choose you."

"Why? You're in love with that idiot. You had the chance to be with him. So why not just be with him?" The dark haired man turned towards Lucy, searching for the answer in her.

The blonde reached his eyes as she turned slightly. "Because even when I was at my worst, weeping, crying for another man, you choose to love me. Because even when you knew I might never love you the way I love him, you still gave yourself to me. And that's more than I could ever ask."

Making her way back towards the door, Lucy was stopped by a hand. In shock, she looked over at Gray, who was now staring at her with eyes full of melancholy and disorientation.

"I don't forgive you for what you did. And I sure as hell don't trust you anymore." Even though she anticipated it, Lucy wouldn't deny how much it hurt to hear it from his cold voice. "But, I'm in love with you, Lucy Heartfilia."

That took her by surprise, and the tears stung at her eyes. "I'm pushing back the wedding. Pushing it back until I feel like I can trust you again. Until I feel like you won't hurt me."

In that moment, Lucy embraced him, crying into his chest.

"Oh God, Gray. Oh God." She sobbed, her feelings of anguish and torment finally caving on her.

"Lucy?"

"I don't care how long it takes. I just want to be with you, Gray. I just want to be with you." Lucy cried, "I know that those words may not mean much to you anymore, but I promise you, I promise that I will make it up to you. I won't hurt you ever again. Not like this."

With Lucy's words, Gray felt touched, because he _knew _she meant it. If she didn't, she would have left with Natsu when he walked out that door. Gray Fullbuster knew that Lucy Heartfilia loved him, because she choose him instead of Natsu Dragneel.

And though she cheated on him, though she cut his heart in the deepest way possible, he couldn't bring himself to leave her, because the dumbass was right. Gray would never find another girl like Lucy Heartfilia.

It wasn't until another two years that the two were wed, that Lucy Heartfilia became Lucy Fullbuster. Gray's best man had been his adopted brother, Lyon, who was now happily engaged to Juvia Lockser. Lucy and Gray worked at it every day, and it was tough, challenging, earning his trust back. But Lucy put her best efforts to it because she loved Gray. And she wanted to make it work.

The next time Lucy saw Natsu, it was at her wedding. She was surprised, to see that Gray invited him. But it was nice. Because even though the air was still slightly hostile between the two, it was heading down the way of redemption.

And the blonde couldn't stop herself from giggling with joy as Lisanna nursed her swollen stomach. Natsu was sheepish, and cautious, making sure that his wife was okay at every moment. By watching the two, Lucy felt happy, knowing that the man she loved was happy.

In the past, Lucy would have been wishing that it was her, sitting in a chair, carrying Natsu's child. And maybe in another life, she was the one cursing a swollen stomach, with Natsu at her side at every moment.

But in this life, Lucy Heartfilia was happily married to Gray Fullbuster. And she couldn't have been happier with where her life was headed. And when her and her first love had locked eyes and shared a smile of sincerity and love, she knew that everything would be okay.

Because sometimes, you have to let go of the one you love the most.

Because even if it hurts now, it won't later.

**A/N: And this is where it ends. I hope you all liked it. I'm well aware that Natsu and Lucy did not end up together and it ended with NaLi and GrayLu, but ultimately, this is a NALU story. Just not in the way you all wanted it to be. **

**Lucy loved Natsu so much that it hurt her, physically and mentally. She gave herself to him and it wasn't healthy. Natsu was possessive and controlling of Lucy, regretting the decision he made of choosing Lisanna over Lucy in the end. He loved Lucy so much that it turned him into someone no one, including himself, recognized. Natsu and Lucy couldn't be together, even if somehow Natsu divorced Lisanna and Lucy called off the wedding with Gray. It wasn't healthy. The weight of their actions would lay too much on their shoulders, and destroy their relationship apart.**

**Gray was a breath of fresh air for Lucy. He cleansed her and reminded her that love is not supposed to hurt. The love Gray has for Lucy reminds her of what she and Natsu _could have _been. And even though she loves Natsu, Gray is the one who will sow her back together. And I made Gray forgive her because Gray truly (in my story) loves Lucy, and he sees Natsu as the one who made her cheat on him. **

**As for Natsu, with Lucy calling it off and letting him go, it _finally _made him realize the consequences of his decision. So now he has to work towards repaying Lisanna and loving her even though his heart belongs to Lucy. **

**So, ultimately, what I'm trying to say is that sometimes, the person you love the most, is the person who can destroy you. And sometimes, it's okay to let go. It's okay to let go of what is holding you back, what is turning you into someone you don't know. Maybe some loves are just not meant to be. And that's _okay_. Because detructive love is not healthy. **

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this two-shot! Reviews, comments, questions, and criticism are always welcomed. Once _Fallen Star _is done, I have tons more story ideas I'd like to share in the future! **

**Until next time!  
>- Dark Waffle<strong>


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